Not Working

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to beat myself up over not being employed

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not care about finding employment

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge myself for being unemployed

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not work as a decision

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not support myself

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to depend on my parents for shelter and money

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not get clean so I can pass drug tests if there given

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hesitate and freeze in fear as to what to do as far as work

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge myself about picking a job or career that interests me

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting a part of my personality to not be interested in work. And to identify with that personality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think that I have to get a job so I can get a girlfriend

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go through anxiety and unease when I project into the future when I see them they ask me “what have you been up to? and I have to say that i’m not working.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to tell my family that im going to be a mortician. and getting power from my family projecting that “funeral director image” onto me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not move out. Which is maybe the sanest happiest choice I could make.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to say “you don’t have enough money to move out so you can’t move out and believing it.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to lie to friends and family that I’m going to be a mortician.

i forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to beat myself up and to eat away at my core by persecuting myself for not following through completely on becoming a mortician.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to say to myself “if you get a job you’ll get stuck there and because of the fear which says if you don’t obey you will be punished. and punishment is death.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear work, employers, employees and run away from them. fearing punishment, exposure, humiliation,back-stabbing, and violence and conflict.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be controlled/manipulated by memories of hurt

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to at work; not stand up and say the following” I need help” Can you help me”  ” I don’t like when…” “I’m not happy with this job”ask questions and being assertive and expression of myself honestly

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be afraid to work because i’m afraid of a personality of mine that wants to tear them apart by killing.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to punch,attack, bludgeon, and kill employees and especially bosses

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be afraid of authority like bosses so if they yell at me or try to shame me my reaction is fight or flight kill or run to survive. because when someone raises there voice I perceive it as a threat to my ego.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be afraid to speak up stand up and if a job is not working out or too demanding of saying “i give my two week notice I’m transitioning elsewhere” or whatever

I see realize understand that I am happiest when alone. even working. Also depending on other people makes your feel more and more guilty. And adds fire to the “bad perpretrator self-image” which only makes me feel bad.Thus tainting my beliefs ,thought-processes, decisions,etc.

I commit myself to find satisfying “work” In order to support myself. Based on the principle of equality and oneness and what is best for all.

 

 

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