Building Deck

I had an interesting experience over the weekend.  I am working with my dad and brother in law on building a deck for the house I live in with my parents.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to beat myself up over mistakes and not being good enough fast enough to to the task of mixing cement in wheelbarrel then pouring into post holes in backyard.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become depressed and unhappy because of working

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not stop breathe and take a break when my body needed a break

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to get sucked into the vortex of doing things compulsively where I’m overwhelmed because there’e always more to do

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to talk negatively of myself put myself down and then hinder my performance for working on the deck.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think that my dad and brother in law we’re watching me work

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to get angry at my dad for not moving fast enough

I forgive myself fir allow8ng and accepting myself to be hard on mysekf while preparing the deck foundation with cement

 

 

 

Shadow Self

We all have light and darkness. But in society we are told and taught what is “good” and what is “bad”. Certain aspects of ourselves we view as scary, dirty, and or bad.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to “fragment” certain “personas” as my personality, identity, and who I am

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to condemn other people’s shadow and thus condemn my hypocritical self

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to repress my shadow “self” thus creating a “monster” and inviting tension.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take on my parents “rules” of how to present myself to the world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge my shadow side

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project my shadow onto “others”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not respect and have empathy for “my shadow self”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignore and abandon my innocence

 

 

Words: Shadow; shade-ow, Shad-whole. not visible. not mundane. the dark matter. the stuff on the universe. An alchemical process.

I commit myself to begin to move towards my shadow. Which my interpretation Is. We are innocent. Over time we ignore that innocence and treat it rather disrespectfully especially with spirituality and religion. The more we ignore that innocence. It turns into something called The Shadow. Which is like the wounded saboteur. Or the wounded Child.  Inflated innocence. It thinks it has to inflate itself to get your attention. We abandon our inner child.