Day 4 Stubbornness

The word that comes to me today is stubbornness.  According to astrology and the stars I am a “Taurus”  Highly characterized for stubbornness. Stubbornness definition: dogged determination not to change one’s attitude or position on something. I see some of that to be true. More prominently in my teenage years. Where I would learn to numb myself and do the opposite of what i as told. I also never listened to other people as a teenager. For example never listened to adults,elders,teachers,etc. I would often hold onto an attitude rather than cool down with breathing or exercise. Another similar word that comes up and one teacher “labeled” me as is passive aggressive. Passive Aggressive:  A defense mechanism that allows people who aren’t comfortable being openly aggressive get what they want under the guise of still trying to please others. They want there way,but still want everyone to still like them. Interesting…about wanting to get my way yet not step on anyone’s toes or hurt them. And not wanting confrontation and aggression.I see this to be true within myself. When i went to a off campus school i would use passive aggressiveness with the school systems strict rules of not swearing. and punishment with time outs. I would be a “smart ass” in school. Trying to be clever with teachers as if its a game. I would try to get back at them with clever arguments. Questioning there authority and rules they must follow. Looking to passive aggressively break the rules.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be stubborn to my own potential

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing passive aggressive behaviors and actions

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to please others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress my aggression

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing passivity to solve my problems

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be stubborn

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fight for my way

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use stubbornness as a defense mechanism to protect myself against being hurt or vulnerable

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to worship my stubbornness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be openly aggressive in the fear i may hurt others or be seen as a hurtful person.

When and as i see myself going into passive aggressiveness or stubbornness i stop and breathe

I commit myself to not bullshit myself

I commit myself to investigate my stubbornness

I commit myself investigate my passive aggressiveness

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s