Day 10 -Conflict with others

Conflict to me is a form of opposition or polarity with two “separate” people. It can be external or internal. Conflict is generally not a pleasant thing for me. Something that i try to avoid at all costs externally. But there is conflict and opposition within. Which is triggered by things like politics, divided, people, and religion,etc. For me internal conflict shows up in the form of being indecisive and changing my mind. It can show up as me hearing lets say two different principles but they contradict each other. One says spirituality is good one bad. One says friendliness is good and the other says ” fuck everyone”  Externally I’ve had conflict. between “yoga corporate people” and myself. I don’t like when people tell em what to do or correct me. For example there is conflict between what I’ve learned so far which is probably just the tip of the iceberg about desteni and its principles. But those principles and the principles of yoga for example contradict each other. I have time finding a common ground.. a place of no black and white thinking. Like Desteni says that the mind consciousness system is the problem. From my understanding…. and that meditation or receiving energy is actually feeding the mind consciousness system.  So I start judging others who practice the yoga i practiced as ” there feeding the mind consciousness system. They don’t know what i know.People are starving. Men are being emasculated, Children raped, Brutality is rampant and what are you guys actually doing to bring more resources where needed” Then there’s a part of me which feels benefited by meditation. This has more to do with me than it does Desteni Or  “Corporate Yoga”

It’s about my innocence or inner child that will fall for anything. Believe anything without testing it out. Which is why it’s important for me to learn how to make decisions for myself.   I’ve always judged debate as “ugly” and “harsh”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blindly follow any set of teachings whether from desteni, religion, or spirituality, friends,relatives, peers,spiritual teachers and gurus.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to claim my own authority

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be a coward and not speak up and be afraid to disagree for fear of losing friends and people saying “fuck that guy” and being hostile.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear punishment from conflict

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rather retreat then advance into conflict

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to emulate the people who have brought up conflict within me..by back chatting conflict about others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself and nervous system to be manipulated by emotions of flight or fight. So if someones mad at me/arguing I feel as if i have to hit them, hurt them, or go into “kill mode” Unconsciously not realizing that is it unconscious.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not like debate…But my wounded ego would love it for it could strengthen my sense of self

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create war within myself through inner conflict

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize life and death are in the power of the tongue.

When and as i see myself going into flight or fight i stop and breathe. I clear my head. And realize that is it the ego trying to fight or feed for survival. But it is only a false self.

When and as i see myself going into unconscious defend mode. I stop and breathe. I remove myself from the person until I’ve cooled down. Then only then can i speak life into the situation.

I commit myself to focus on the inner conflict and solutions rather that external conflict and problems.

Redefining Conflict: Con-flict…Conflick. a con flick/movie in ones head. A movie is created by a projector. Con-flick-ted by the projector of the mind which is telling the brain that conflict is external but it is internal.

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2 thoughts on “Day 10 -Conflict with others

  1. Hey Mike, I struggled with a similar point you did in terms of your relationship with Yoga. When I started my process, I was a dancer. When listening to Desteni perspectives of how the designs of things like yoga, exercising etc. was specifically existing with the purpose of ‘feeding’ our mind consciousness system – I went into some fear and wanted to stop dancing. What I didn’t realize is that while things like yoga and dancing can enhance/encourage/support my mind – they can equally so enhance/encourage/support me and my expression in the physical. So – it is not yoga or dance that is the problem, the responsibility of the outcome rests with us in terms of who we decide to be when doing yoga/dance. What I started doing, was to for instance become more aware of myself when dancing – and hey – I started seeing how I was accessing all kinds of thoughts, characters, personalities and energies while dancing, cause that’s what I had conditioned myself to do over many years and that is the relationship I had formed with dancing. However, in becomging aware of those points, I was also able to work with them in my writng and self-forgiveness and so, slowly but surely change my relationship with dancing from supporting personalities and constructs of the mind – to supporting me and my body in my physical self-expression.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Maite. Very interesting about who we decide to be. Different perspective for me to look at my relationship with Yoga and my expression in the physical. As well as the different characters that come up. Cool thanks so much. Take care.

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