Day 13 Arguments

Right now i hear my dad arguing on the phone. It has brought up some uncomfortable feelings in my solar plexus,throat, lower abdomen and torso area. Some feelings of fear. The fear of him snapping. I  see this within myself. Where there is this vicious seriousness within me. I am feeling fear. Arguments are based on a starting point of fear. Fear of being inferior of losing of being wrong.misunderstood.etc

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear two people arguing

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear verbal venom being spewed and judge it as ugly

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think mentally to my dad “just drop it isn’t worth it.” But i don’t know who hes speaking with or the reason.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear two people arguing will turn into violence or verbal violence

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to argue

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine that an argument will turn into violence. Or assume it i will.To someone getting hurt

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear someone getting hurt through argument

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine i interject the argument and play the role of the peacemaker

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself when i hear arguments for it to trigger the seriousness within me and not see the play and act of arguments. The drama play.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play the role of tragedy and drama

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the person my dads arguing with even though i don’t know him or never will

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like a bad person when two people argue.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel uncomfortable and want to run from arguments

 

When and as i see two people in a argument i stop and breathe

When and  as i see or hear my dad arguing on the phone i stop and breathe

When and as i see myself going into drama roles i stop and breathe.

 

 

 

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