Day 16 Dealing with Social Anxiety

Ok. Here’s a big point for me. I don’t know if I have social anxiety or not. But at times i certainly feel socially awkward,shy, or inhibited in my self expression. Like when I’m around someone who talks loud about things i don’t know or don’t care about… or just can’t find rapport socially. I would add this is nor a personal issue but a Educational issue. As we’re not taught social and interpersonal skills like how to listen and validate in school. Nor do we learn at the work places. I don’t fully believe that I  “have”” social anxiety because it depends on numerous factors. If someone is boring then its not so much social anxiety as it is the desire to want to escape.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the correlation of low self esteem and social anxiety

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel inferior because of social anxiety

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing  myself to feel less intelligent because of social anxiety

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like i’m cursed because i have social anxiety

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as stupid when i have social anxiety

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be serious so the social anxiety is increased

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing others to invade my “boundaries” to make me socially awkward

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to fully heal the traumas that have led to social anxiety

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be controlled by fear of speaking and looking dumb

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to when im around loud people to become passive and quiet not knowing what to do but be “polite” and listen when internally i’m struggling

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide from the world how im suffering from social anxiety

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to control my social situations by appearing social to mask my insecurity

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear talking to stranger and expressing myself as if i need there permission

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like a hostage and prisoner when others are doing all the talking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think others are talking shit about me being socially awkward

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that social anxiety is almost a mental illness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resent people who tell me ” why are you so quiet”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate that i can’t just express myself with ease.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate that it’s easier for me to write through communication than it is to articulate,formulate, and speak clearly.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be embarrassed to speak in front of others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself and others to define me as “quiet” When in reality I am not quiet all the time. But when im mad at someone i may not talk out of protest to there behavior. We all have times where we’re quiet. Like when we lose a bet, our favorite team loses, someone dies.Why are we so afraid of silence?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid to be silent or quiet

 

When and as i see myself getting nervous about meeting people i stop and breathe. I slow down and ground down.

I commit myself to write out my social anxiety points.

 

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